my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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