i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
