I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we're making bets on your personal life
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
