your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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