jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i believe in u and ur pee
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
