The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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