Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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