ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
