your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
