Jerry, you need to find god
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I pour the whiskey from now on
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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