my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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