He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
