Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
