I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize