My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
