Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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