Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
