I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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