I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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