My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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