; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
