I'm gonna have a badass scar
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
