If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
