i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
