do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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