You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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