I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
