Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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