You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
