Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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