im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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