Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
