White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
