I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
