very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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