Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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