Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
