Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
