I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
