I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
