Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
