C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We just shotgunned beers for America
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
