worst night to have a conscience
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
