i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
