Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize