My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
