I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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