You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
