That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
