Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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