did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
