My balls are so social today.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
