If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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