brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
