I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
