Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
