Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
