who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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