They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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