somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
