My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
