Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
