Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize