well you can't waste a boner
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
