I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
